Plan B is the new Plan A
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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