My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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