I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
