i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
