Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dicks are not precious.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
