If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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