i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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