was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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