she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
