I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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