i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Let's get the cat blown out
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
