It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
