Dual....:-)
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
