At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
