Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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