dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
