I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
