I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
