Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
