...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
