In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think my moral compass just broke
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
