pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
