I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize