Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
