Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
