I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
