Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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