guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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