based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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