you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
