Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
