her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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