Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize