So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
