I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
