I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
