Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
