i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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