somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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