I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize