Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
