Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You're a waste of cheezeits
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
