Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
