Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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