Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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