i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
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Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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