6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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