A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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