does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
