So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
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He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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