all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize