i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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