so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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