Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
