he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
