hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
