Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
