i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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