honey bunches of taint.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
