Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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