haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
