U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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