Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
