He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
