Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
