If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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